scribbled memories

All This Time

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Fri, 04 May 2012 12:35:00 +0000

All this time: from the first tear cry

'Til today's sunrise and every single moment between

You were there; You were always there.

It was You and I.

God is good. All the time. He's been there for me since the moment I was conceived in my mother's womb to this very minute. There hasn't been a single second in my 17 years of existence that He hasn't been right beside me. Even during those times of doubt that He didn't exist, He was still there. What's the greatest news of all is that you - yes, you there! - can say the same exact thing. God has been there for you whether you believe in Him or not.

I write today my Finished-One-Year-of-College post, not because I'm actually finished yet (three days left), but because this is probably the only spare time I will have in the coming week. It still feels so surreal that in just another week, I'll be officially completed with my freshman year in college. Does that not sound grownup or what? When I look back to the journey that started last July 2011, I'm just amazed at how much has happened since then and I have to say: I'm proud of myself.

I'm proud that I learned to live by myself. It isn't easy when you have to be responsible for yourself. You have to take the extra effort to make sure you eat every meal of the day, to make sure your room stays in a fairly sanitary condition, to do your laundry, to do what you know needs to get done without your mother nagging you and telling you to do this and that. You have to keep track of your spendings, budget, and experience what it's like to not have your dad right at the kitchen table to ask, "Dad can I have some money today to go shopping?"

I'm proud that I've learned to cope with all the responsibilities. Adjusting from a home schooled mentality that allows you to push off that assignment till the next day, it was definitely a challenge to keep up with the due dates. It was also a challenge to learn to cope with people during group projects. Not to mention looking for jobs, getting a job, applying for a SSN all by myself, jumping the hoops of all those international restrictions on jobs and the age barriers, tax forms, and whatnot. (Who knew living by yourself when you're not of legal age can be so tedious?!) The amount of things I've learned out of the classroom exceeds that of which I've learned in the classroom.

I'm proud of putting myself out there and being outgoing. I'm so glad I know so many more people, some of whom I've gotten really close to and some of whom I only say hi to when I see them. Nevertheless, it's making connections. I'm glad that I know so many people outside of Appalachian State too! I'm so grateful for the church I've found that is literally a big family to me. I'm so grateful for other families I know outside my church: my host family, the LeBlancs and Abernathys. I'm so grateful for my fellow peers, my neighbors, my roommate, and even the bus drivers.

I'm proud of my academic achievements. Hey, it is college and I came here to learn and prepare myself for my career. A big thank you to all those who have taught me and helped me during the last two semesters. I've learned so much about interior design, I almost feel like I'm prepared to design a house right now. I've pushed my envelope, exceeded the boundaries, and stepped out of my comfort zone. And it's paid off with the grades I've gotten!

Finally, but definitely not last, I'm proud of how much I've grown spiritually. If this wasn't the biggest lesson I've learned, I don't know what is: I can't do anything without Him, but I can certainly can do everything and anything with Him! Every day is a good day when I find that little time to start my day with Him. After all, He has been with me all this time, I owe Him some time every day. :)

I'm excited for summerrrr! Who's with me?

Gladiator: Through the Eyes of Lucilla

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 21:07:00 +0000

“If only you had been born a man. What a Caesar you would have made! You would have been strong, I wonder… would you have been just?” Those were the words my father, the Emperor Marcus Aurelius, said to me after he and his general, Maximus Decimus Meridius, led the Roman army to victory against a barbaric Germanic tribe. My father was wise and old at that point, and both my brother, Commodus, and myself knew that his days were numbered. One of us, the former, was looking forward to his death. After all, Commodus believed he would be emperor next.

My name is Lucilla and I am the Emperor’s daughter. As Maximus told my father, I believe that we, the royal blood of Rome, are here “for the glory of the Empire.” But perhaps, this not something exclusive only for the royal blood, for Maximus, our general, is almost family to us, although we do not share the same blood. My father loved him. Before his death, my father approached Maximus and told him it would be Maximus who would be the heir the to throne – not my brother Commodus. But when my father told this to my brother, Commodus lost control, strangled, and killed my father.

I loved Maximus too, but he had no choice but to escape as my brother Commodus became the new emperor. Out of fear for my brother I could not weep, for my father or for Maximus. My only motive for living was my young son, Lucius. I loved him more than I loved myself. My brother loved me in the way a man loves a women, and not the way a brother should love a sister. I endured it, for the sake of my son. Years passed and during the commemoration of my father’s death in the games at the Colosseum, I saw Maximus again. I thought he was dead. But he was very much alive and defeated the legionaries on horseback. Through the grapevine, I found out that my brother had murdered Maximus’ wife and son. Maximus had been captures and had become a slave as a Gladiator, fighting for his life ever since.

My brother did not kill Maximus because he was at the service of the people and the crowd loved Maximus. Rome is the mob. Rome is the people. However, my brother did try to kill Maximus. He set him up for a battle against the Tigris of Raul, the only undefeated warrior of Roman history. The game was bloody and unfair, with tigers involved. Yet the Maximus that I love survived.

Only then did I realize I needed to be courageous and risk my life for those whom I loved – both Maximus and my son Lucius. I helped Maximus get his freedom back and plotted with him and a senator to battle against my brother. But my brother found out and Maximus was captured again. I was responsible; I betrayed Maximus when my son’s life was in jeopardy. Finally, my brother decided that he himself would fight Maximus in a brutal game that resulted in both Commodus’ and Maximus’ death.

Maximus’ last command was “Release my men. Senator Gracchus is to be reinstated. There was a dream that was Rome. It shall be realized. These are the wishes of Marcus Aurelius.” Maximus taught me so much. He taught me the meaning of love, of loyalty, and of will power. His love for my father, for Rome, and for his family exceeded beyond my love for my son, Lucius. Maximus’ last words to me were, “Lucius is safe.” His name will be remembered in the centuries to come because he knew his identity in the eyes of my father, the Emperor. Maximus knew who he was even in the face of tribulation and death. “Is Rome worth one good man's life? We believed it once. Make us believe it again. He was a soldier of Rome. Honor him.”
--
How often do we forget our identity in Christ? We are princesses and princes, co-heirs. We are the apple of His eye. Don't forget that this weekend: you are loved.

Lessons

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:25:00 +0000

I like to think I'm matured and have grown up long ago. But truth be told, I'm still really young and we never stop growing, learning, making mistakes, and maturing. The amount I've grown in the past four months have been incredible leaps and I'm so grateful to God for everything He's been putting me through and teaching me. Here's a few of those lessons He's taught me.

- "It's not about you. It's about your availability." Being human, I'm always thinking of myself - what I need to do, what I want to do. But God is just telling me: be available with your time. Minister and spend time with the people He's placed in your life for a reason. Stop focusing on yourself.

- "I have a plan for you." Look, it doesn't make sense all the time. Most of time, it doesn't make sense, at all. I thought He wanted me to get that scholarship, but He didn't. I was upset and disappointed, but just think: it means there's something greater installed for my life. I'm just excited to find out what that is!

- "Let me be your Healer." I've been hurt. Who hasn't. I've held on to regret, pain, disappointment, maybe even some anger. But God has just been so awesome. He's told me just to let go, to let him heal and bandage those wounds that I've allowed to open up again.

- "Share." I don't believe God put me through so many things in my life just for me. After, this ties in with the first point, it isn't about me. I'm learning to be a testimony and sharing little bits of my life story with others to show them that God is really... God. There's no other way to put it.

- "Let me drive." Picture your life as a car and let God be in the driver's seat. Not only that, don't be a backseat driver, telling God where you want Him to drive. Enjoy the ride. He's in control.

Have a blessed day. :)

He Is Risen!

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 13:04:00 +0000

“For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. Romans 5:10

Today I am just so overwhelmed by how amazing the God I serve is. My heart is light, I have a big smile on my face, and I'm so overjoyed that I get to spend this special day with my big family in Christ. I love you all and I hope everyone has a great Easter. Don't forget to thank Jesus for what He did for us on that cross two thousand years ago... and for rising from the dead!

Nothing is Impossible

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 23:19:00 +0000

Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,

And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.

Then the lame shall leap like a deer,

And the tongue of the dumb sing.

xx.

Isaiah 35:5-6

The song "Run to You" by Kari Jobe is playing in the background. I need You, I can't get enough of You, I come alive when in Your presence, oh God of my salvation! How true. Every day I am reminded of how much I need Him, how I am absolutely nothing without Him. When I start my day off right, with Him, the day just goes so much better.

I've learned so much since starting college last year. One day can be crazy busy and you find yourself occupied every second of the day. I see so many people all around me bending under the pressure of college work, balancing basic life activities with education, and other problems that come their way. The biggest thing I've learned is that if I make it a priority to wake up extra early to spend some of my precious time with my Savior and surrender the entire day to Him, the busy day ahead of me doesn't seem so bad after all.

Recently, I've been preoccupied with a certain prestigious scholarship that I'm applying for. It is so prestigious that I had to go through a prescreening with my own college first before I actually apply to the real scholarship committee. I had an interview just last week and it was going to be a packed day for me starting at 8:30am and only ending at 9pm after my interview at 8:40pm. I realized it was going to be a crazy day and I wouldn't be able to handle it on my own. Days before the interview, I was in constant prayer... simply surrendering the entire thing into the hands of God, asking Him for His favor on me, for his strength and peace to fill every nook and cranny in my life. I also texted a few of my close Christian friends and asked them to pray. A friend of my replied, "Matthew 6:33-34." I turned the pages of my Bible, curious as to what it said:

Matthew 6:25-34
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

There is such a simple message in this passage: Do not worry. Throughout that whole day, I felt so in sync with God, His spirit was so present in my life, and I was filled with a peace that truly surpasses understanding. The interview went amazing - I could literally feel God in that room with me - I was selected for the next round of applications that I will be submitting next Monday.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Through that day, I kept on repeating, "Lean not on your own understanding." In my own understanding, there was no way I would survive such a busy day. In my own understanding, there was no chance I would get through that first round with such good competition. In my own understanding, no! It may make no sense to the world but I would survive today. It would make no common sense to the human brain that I would be selected for the next round of applications. But it was not out of human understanding that I functioned.

Perhaps it's the second part of this verse that's really the hardest to do. I can trust in the Lord, no problem. I can lean not on my own understanding, no problem! These are all internal actions. But acknowledging Him in all my ways!? Actually saying with my mouth that He is in control, actually declaring with my tongue that He is my Lord? Now that is a different story. But yet I did it. I acknowledged to my friends that I needed their prayers and it was all God and none of me. I mentioned in my interview that I was a Christian. And above all else, I went through that day praying constantly and admitting that it was not me at work, but the Spirit of God that was enabling me. So I acknowledged, I leaned not on my own understanding, and I trusted.

Psalm 37:3-5
Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.

That pretty much sums it up. I'm going to trust in Him, delight in Hm, surrender every little aspect of my life to Him and let Him lead the way - not only in the terms of this scholarship but in every single part of my life. I know that what He allows to happen to me is going to be the very best for me. I know that He is in control. I gave Him control. He's shown Himself faithful.

Don't miss out on that chance to simply pile all your burdens onto Him. Don't miss out on that guarantee that every day is going to be alright as long as you start it out with Him. Don't miss out on knowing that the greatest person ever on the earth loves you so much more than anybody else could. Don't miss out, I promise you, you will never ever regret knowing Him.

You Know You're a College Student...

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:23:00 +0000

- When there's more than just school work to be responsible for. When you have a room, a job, a GPA to maintain.

- When you're walking around campus like a struggling puppy because you have a book bag, a bag full of groceries, and two packages to carry around.

- When you receive a tax refund form in the mail.

- When you're balancing three bowls, one plate, a bunch of utensils, dish detergent, a sponge, and a dry cloth down the hallway.

-When you're just dying to have a day where you can stay in bed and watch TV all day.

-When you're eating buffalo chicken wings from TGIF...
...literally thanking God it is Friday!!

From Prada to Nada

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 15:50:00 +0000

"Sometimes you play a game even when you know you're going to lose."
"Well... sometimes you leave a game even when you know you're going to win."
"I wouldn't leave that game."

Goalkeeper's Goal

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 04:35:00 +0000

<a href='http://foxsports.com?vid=fac369d7-cda9-4662-a062-1b4b3af67df7&mkt=en-us&from=sp^foxsports_en-us_videocentral&src=FLPl:embed::uuids' target='_new' title='GOTD: Howard scores amazing Goal' >Video: GOTD: Howard scores amazing Goal</a>
Tim Howard, goalkeeper, scores for Everton!

In his post-interview he explains why he wasn't exactly thrilled by this accomplishment...
Interviewer: Is there any pleasure when a goalkeeper scores against another goalkeeper?
Howard: Not much, not much. It's hard, it's not a nice place to be... so it's embarrassing. I certainly felt for the boy, but you know, I was happy we were winning the game and I was kinda hoping it would stay that way but...
Interviewer: Has it happened to you before either way; have you ever been beaten by another goalkeeper?
Howard:Yea a long time ago and I remember the feeling. It's not nice, quite awful actually.

Talk about my favorite goalkeeper. Biggest fan right here.

it's that time of the year...

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:03:00 +0000

I'm not sure where to start...

Number one, I'm still processing that I've finished one semester of college. It doesn't seem like it's over already. Surreal. It just happened. I survived. I made myself proud. I grew and learned and matured. I did it!

Number two, Christmas is over. Every since I finished the semester on the thirteenth of December and flew down to Maine, time has gone by so fast. I've eaten to the brim, had a good portion of actually playing soccer, and squeezed out all creative juices. When I say that I mean...

this.

and that.

& these.

and village!

Yea, I'm pretty awesome. I know. :3

Number three, Christmas was amazing. Basically it consisted of eating. I am known around the Perreault's house as the one who eats like a football player so if that doesn't give you a good estimate of how much I eat, I don't know what will. There was a feast on Christmas eve and a feast on Christmas day.

Number four, I love these people who have made me feel like I belong. :)

Back row: Mr. P, Mrs. P, Lyds, Cait, Me, Ian

Front row: Rachel, Kyle, Luke, JP, and Malcolm

Number five, how can you resist such a face like this?

"Tee oou, Hazel."

Giving Thanks

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 18:03:00 +0000

I'm sprawled out on bed here in Jacksonville, NC, embracing the last few hours of my Thanksgiving break. In just a few, I'll be in the car - for six long hours - headed back to the mountains. I haven't updated this blog in such a long time and so I thought what better time to update my blog than on Thanksgiving break, reminisce on the past year, and express my thanks.

(So much has happened in the last past year, I barely know where to start. And honestly, I have something against cliché stuff so this is not gonna be a typical "I'm thankful for so and so (aka: friends, family, God)" sort of post, but I'm all for creativity. Let's see how this flies.)

♥ I'm thankful for the different aspects of my intellectual being. Thank God for the mental side of me that allows me to think critically, to solve problems, and to make smart comments like "Oh I knew that." My mental aspect also allows me to evaluate people's characters. I'm grateful I have an emotional side of me which balances perfectly when my brain gets the better of me. It reveals the other side of me - the less perfect, the more vulnerable side of Hazel. It probes me to give others a second chance to prove themselves. Then there's the spiritual side of things. There's the conscience which nudges me along the right path. There's the love and peace that controls me when I get too emotionally or mentally strained. And finally, the physical side (that needs working on) which allows me to move, to go about my healthy life, and that allows me to relax in the oddest positions.

♥ I'm thankful for the different changes in life that have caused me to grow so much in every aspect: mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. They say change is the only constant in life. I've learned to accept it, embrace it, and go along for the ride. Whether it be moving to a different location or learning to relate to different people, whatever it is, I've become a better person because of these changes. I've become more independent. I've gained more self-confident. I've learned to relate to all different sorts of people. I've been embracing every challenge along the way.

♥ I'm thankful for dreams, loves, and passions. They keep you going. They keep you motivated. They inspire you to move on. They give you a break sometimes when other things in life drain you. They come in the form of ambitions, hobbies, people, anything really. Mine, for example, are stuff like a love for design, family and friends, little children, soccer. When projects overwhelm me, I am overtaken by my love for design and actually doing this stuff. When I'm having an emotionally rough time, family and friends are there to listen. When I'm tired of "adult" drama, I can enter the world of a little child where I can play, color, be carefree. When I just want a break, what's better than 90 minutes of watching some darn good soccer?!

♥ I'm thankful for open arms. With my real blood-related family miles away, I'm so grateful for the open arms of other families to make me feel welcomed. Thanks to my host family: Steve, Cathy, Mark, and Kelsey. Thanks to the LeBlancs: Michael, Jennifer, and the children. Thanks to the Tanners: Kyle, Cait, Lukas, and Malcolm. And thanks to the Perreaults: Mr. and Mrs. P, JP, and Ian. And for Aunty Kate, Aunty Sue, and Uncle George.

♥ I'm thankful that there's more to life than just this. Life's a journey and I've barely started. I've had quite a few chapters but that doesn't mean it ends there. I'm excited to see where life is taking me, I'm buckled in, and I'm geared up for an amazing ride with God by my side. (Okay, so for someone who doesn't like clichés, this is pretty bad.) But truly, it doesn't end here. This better not be your last visit to this website. :) Love you guyss.

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 12:45:00 +0000

Early Saturday mornings :

Soccerrr. ♥ I mean, who in their sane minds can resist watching Tim Howard
play big for Everton?! Gotta love ESPN3.com

Blessings

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 14:28:00 +0000

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

#o1. I thank God that I am surviving busy college life. I haven't missed a single class, haven't been late to class yet, or haven't turned up my homework late. My hardest class of the semester has suddenly become my favorite because I recently got 99% on my last project and my overall grade is 98%.

#o2. I thank God for the new relationships I've made in the last few months. I love both my ex-roomie and currently roommate and am grateful that living with them was/is pleasant. I'm glad I know a godly bunch of Christians that I go to church with and can talk about my faith. I'm forever in debt to my wonderful host family. I'm thankful for a group of people I can call friends. :)

#o3. I thank God for the fall break that I recently had. Even if it meant sitting in a car for five hours, finding my way to a neighboring town that was one hour away, not being to sleep in, spending my entire Sunday traveling, having the car smoke up.. overall I was glad for the break from my regular and usually stressful routine.

#o4. I thank God that I've been overall pretty healthy. I haven't gotten seriously sick such as fevers, throwing up, etc. Other than some occasional gastric, some minor cramps, a cold, and a scare that my TB test might just be positive (it isn't btw - I just came back from Health Services and it's negative!), I've been completely healthy. I just had a general health checkup on Tuesday as a requirement for my job and I was deemed completely healthy with no health or physical issues.

#o5. I thank God for opening the doors for me to get a job at the ASU Child Development Center. Although I'm just a substitute teacher with no permanent hours, I will be starting work on the 4th of November and actually earning an income. There were some bumps along the way - aka getting a SSN, very complicated process - but everything's falling into place and for that I'm extremely grateful.

#o6. I thank God for my family. For my parents who are still an emotional and financial support behind me. For my sister who's a free call away if I need to get her opinion on something or some help with a complex concept I learn in class. Or a free text away so I can tell her about my latest grade - which she calls "worse than an F". And I'm definitely grateful that she has a bigger bank account than me so she can book flights for me. Hee.

#o7. I thank God for those short sweet moments that can make an entire day special. Yesterday my roommate and I received a Halloween care package from her mother. I was so excited, omg like an eight year old girl on Easter... yes, I'm using Easter as an example because you actually don't get that much on Easter... ask my roommate, I was SO EXCITED. So we were expecting a package but we though there were only going to be two blank white T-shirts inside. I was still excited even though all I was expecting was a T-shirt. Sharon let's me open the package and inside there's like candy, this cool flickering pumpkin and a little craft kit thingymajigg. I was so exuberant, you have no idea.

#o8. I thank God for little things to look forward to. Like the tie-dye event this afternoon. Or the trip around Boone running errands and EATING OFF CAMPUS. I'm starting to walk in Central and not wanting to eat anymore because I'm sooo tired of the food there. Malaysians, don't take for granted the amazing food you have there. I miss it so much.

Sunday Road Trip

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 14:09:00 +0000

I can officially say that I've been on the soil of three more states. :)

Discoveries

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 23:12:00 +0000

My biggest apologies for not updating in the longest time ever. It's been crazy hectic, classes never fail to provide you with something to do, and I never have a dull moment. (I'm actually looking forward to fall break so I can get off campus and be a couch potato.) I haven't had time to write in my all-time private diary since.. I don't even want to know when. All I've been doing consistently everyday is writing in my English journal, simply because it's required for my English class.

So what's college life like, you ask. The first few weeks I was still adjusting and trying to memorize my schedule and getting some form of routine, but by now, my schedule is packed down hard in my body clock system. Here's what I've been discovering:

#o1. After making your bed, cleaning up your room, vacuuming, washing the dishes, doing your laundry, and folding all your clothes, the feeling is indescribable. You actually feel like you've accomplished something and been productive. After writing a paper, reading the required chapters of a textbook, designing a shoe on Illustrator... now that's another story. You still feel like you haven't done enough because there's still more homework to do.

#o2. Alone time is a very important factor in college life. Independence is an admirable trait. Without those two, I'm not sure how you would survive. You would either accomplish nothing or want to kick someone in the face.

#o3. Pandora is a life-saver.

#o4. I never knew triangles could be so versatile until I did this:

#o5. Did you know that the plastic 24-oz covers for soft-drinks/juice/etc. have these little pop-in thingys on the top of them where you can indicate if it's COKE, DIET, RB, or OTHER. I was so fascinated when I saw it in the lift coming back to the dorm and told my roomie about it like I had just discovered another world. Heee. :3

It's going to be a crazy week and I need to get back to that big pile of homework that is just pinning away from me to give it some attention. Till later. :)

The Love of God

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 12:47:00 +0000

Could we with ink the ocean fill and were the skies of parchment made. Were every stalk on earth a quill and every man a scribe by trade. To write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry. Nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky. :)

Just a quick reminder of how great His love for us truly is.

Oh The Life of a Walker

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 03:27:00 +0000

I'm pretty sure I've covered at least 10 miles in the last 14 hours. And I'm not exaggerating. (It is an estimation though. I need to get one of those things to attach to my Nikes and see how far I've walked/ran.) But honestly, the campus is huge and I've walked around it, through it, under tunnels, over hills, left, right, and center. Again, I stop to state how amazingly fast time flies and tonight marks my fourth night in North Carolina and my third on campus.

Let's start where we left off. The last you've heard of me on this pretty badly updated blog I was in beautiful Maine visiting the Way Way Store. Well I concluded my time in Maine riding ponies, visiting the beach, swimming in the pool, playing bubbles with Ian, eating s'mores by the campfire, playing hide-and-seek with Ian and his walkie-talkies, sleeping over at Becca's, going shopping, and the list continues.

Ian and his amazingly cool bubble-blowing device

which he also got for free at Andy's Agway.

Gotta love that place - he keeps getting free stuff there!

Eating a s'more while making another.

Gotta learn how to multitask in this century.

(Sorry to point out, but my sister is a terrible photographer.

I mean seriously, she has no sense of focal point.)

If I'm not mistaken, that's Stoney and Ginger in the pasture.

Taking pictures of the P's driveway for a little graphic designing

project Mrs P gave me. I was pretty happy with the end result.

Me, Jackie, and Becca at Old Orchard Beach. That place

has changed so much. Busy busy.

On Sunday the 14th, I flew down to Charlotte on a very manageable journey that only lasted about 5 hours. No bumps whatsoever, and I arrived in one piece with all my expensive baggage in three pieces. (Because there were three bags, not because it broke into three.) Got to the hotel in Charlotte and spent an enjoyable time talking to many nationalities and the friendly INTAPP people. Went to downtown Charlotte and spent a boring time exploring the streets. Literally. Came across this sign that I just couldn't resist taking a picture of:

First thought: Sarah Ti

Arrived at Appalachian State University on Monday and there began the week-long of orientations that still isn't over. They've given me a tour of the campus two times already, and I'm probably taking another tour tomorrow. I think I'm gonna be losing weight instead of gaining any. Everyone here is so fit and active because of all the walking around campus and the many outdoor activities. The food is amazing though so I'm trying to eat more than I walk. It's pretty expensive but currently I have free meals as an international so I'm taking full advantage of that!

Gabriela from Brazil. Such a sweet girl. :)

Ruby from Malaysia as well, in front of
I-forgot-his-name bear in the Belk Library.

Tonight in particular, I had an amazing experience out on the Duck Pond field Contra Dancing (which is kinda like country folk dancing, I think) as well as juggling a soccer ball around with some of the guys. That proved interesting because I played barefooted and all the rest had sneakers on.. and I kept up. :)

This talented band led us through some really fun and

exhausting dances. I couldn't even pause for a moment.

It's 11:30pm and I am dead from all the walking, dancing, kicking, etc. I have freshman orientation all day long tomorrow, so I'm hitting the sack. I'll keep you wonderful friends in Malaysia updated as often as I can, and I would love to skype with y'all whenever I have the free time.

This Could Really Be the Good Life

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 03:59:00 +0000

#o1, I have enough plane rides to last for a lifetime. Now, here's what I've discovered, flying by yourself is a lot (did I say A LOT) different than flying with another person. Reasons being: one, you don't have to lug heavy luggage that actually has a label that contains a picture of a stick figure hurting his back. two, you don't have to be so attentive about where are you heading. Just follow the person ahead. and three, there's someone to talk to. When I finally arrived in Boston, my voice sounded so coarse. Simply because I hadn't talked in such a long time.

#o2, a thirty-six hour long journey traveling across the world (the long way through the Pacific, mind you) is just toooo long to remain sane all the way through. Plus a two hour transit in LA where you're rushing to get through immigration and customs; the word 'hectic' couldn't be described better. I literally got at my gate just when the plane was scheduled to take-off. I am not exaggerating.

#o3, never sleep for 16 hours straight. Which is precisely what I did, from 12am all the way till 4pm. But that's how advice works, doesn't it? We humans advice other humans not to do things that we ourselves just did.

#o4, so the adventure begins, and we travel down the memory lane. First stop, the old house. They tore down that hideous looking, black barn and although I only once walked inside that building, I was still pretty attached to it. Other than that, same old house. With the grass overgrown.

#o5, second stop, The Way Way Store. Went there twice actually, once without my sister and the other, with my sister. Not that I minded going to the shop twice in a matter of three days. You can never get too much candy. Still getting a kick out of that red and white brick wall. :)

#o6, third stop, bodies of water. Yes, I phrased it in that odd way because I went to the beach one day, and the pool the other day. The former was too freezing cold to stay in there for too long, but the later was really enjoyable with plenty of water toys to play with. Lots of dunking involved too, with the culprit being mainly me because, even though there's a 10-year-old in our midst, I am still the smallest and the shortest making me the easiest to dunk as well.

#o7, my camera has the coolest feature ever created at the time being. It's called a smart shutter and first of all, it detects the face (like most cameras can do) and then, when the person of that face makes his or her face to smile, the camera automatically snaps a photo. I know, how cool is that. 8D

#o8. So yes, as you can see from the number seven up there, it's new gadgets for me. Spanking new MacBook Pro, Canon Powershot digital camera, and a new phone. :) It's been like, 3 days since I've gotten my new phone, and I've texted 82 times. Gosh, you have to love unlimited texting.

#o9. Ian has a new pet hamster (that looks just like my old class pet Brownie) and his name is Harold. We're actually not sure if he's a 'he', but we're guessing so. I mean, his name is Harold for a reason. So this is the story: Harold was picked up while we were getting grain at Andy's Agway in Dayton with a very convincing sign that read, "Hamsters needing a loving home." Plus, it was free, and who can resist free, cuddly, and cute little rodents. Certainly not me, and definitely not Ian either.

#o10. Last and certainly least (because I'm just trying to get this to an even number, and ten is a good spot to stop), I was actually going to join Lyds at summer camp but her foot (the one that was recently broken) is bothering her and she needs to go for physical therapy, so we cancelled those plans. Not that I mind, I'm just loving Maine so it doesn't matter if I'm out canoeing or sitting in bed rotting in front of the TV, it's still a well spent summer. :)

July Update #2

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 07:27:00 +0000

Less than 3 days now before I board the plane and fly to America, where the next chapter of my life begins. The last couple of weeks have been pretty exciting, running around shopping for stuff, meeting the friends for the last time, and of course, you can never cross out soccer. So speaking of all the above, here is my second update of this month:

Sunday, July 17th, 2011 - Women's World Cup Final

2am, like a loyal ~~alone~~ fan. :)
with bloodshot eyes, a running nose, and looking like a sight.

I wish I could say with full conviction "It was worth it", but honestly, I'm not sure if it was. I made a drama at the mamak shop because every other customer wanted to watch the Brazil vs Paraguay game (screw Copa America) and here am I, hardcore US fan. (with my face painted and ribbons in my hair) Thankfully, they were kind enough to allow me to watch the game with no further interruptions, and then it was no longer Astro's fault, the customers'/mamak store's fault, but simply...

JAPAN'S FAULT. Hahaha, okayy, so it was a good game. I think a lot of people enjoyed it, if they were attached neither side, or if they were a hardcore Japan fan. But I did not enjoy it. To think that my team was this darn close to winning THE World Cup, and just let it slip through their fingers. I hate penalty kicks. I still love Hope Solo, Abby Wambach, Alex Morgan.. the whole US Women's team.

But truly, kudos to the Japanese team, who have never failed to surprise the whole world in this tourney. :)

Friday, July 22nd, 2011 - Girly Time

Okay, so people are always asking, "What do girls do at sleepovers?" In answer to that question, we hung out watching YouTube videos of sweet love stories including Bee's brother's wedding video etc. Then like domestic girls, we walked to Jaya Grocer and went grocery shopping for our scrumptious steak dinner. (And took a picture in the middle of the road *points above) Basically, all the regular stuff girls do, cook, eat, talk, laugh, watch movies, fall asleep while we're midway watching The Proposal. Speaking of that movie, I have no idea what's up with me always watching it when it's way past my-eyes-are-still-open time.

(Sorry about the bad quality pictures, with five girls around, there wasn't a single digital camera. And then we went for my farewell dinner, and out of twenty people, still no camera. -.-)

Saturday, July 23rd, 2011 - Mamak, Shopping, and Dinner

So Saphie arrived before the two sleepyheads (guess who?) were even up. Went for brunch at the mamak store downstairs. Hung out at the pool for a bit. Came back and painted our nails. Headed to One Utama. Walked through the park to get there, and well, Sarah got distracted and forced all of us to wear these flowers in our hair and take a picture. Shopping took a while, we came back and started the hectic process of getting ready. Bee was obviously the first ready. Put on these facial masks - the picture shall not be posted here for the sake of our sanity. Curled Saph's hair. Got into our pretty dressesss. <3 Headed to Rosemary Bites... yes we were late.

Thank you so much to my girls and everyone else who made this dinner possible. Big thanks to Saph for putting together that sweet video that I didn't get to finish watching, but sweet nevertheless. Thank you everyone for coming and making it enjoyable. Thank you to the ones in the video who said such kind things about me. I love all of you so very much and I'm gonna miss you all bunches.

Sunday, July 24th, 2011 - Lunch and Dinner with the Relatives

So I had lunch with my grandmother at this Japanese restaurant somewhere in the outskirts of Kuala Lumpur, I actually don't know where we were. It was pretty good. She loved it so much she even asked for the business card, so I guess that's a good thing. My parents are really bad translators, btw. I mean, waitresses were talking to me in Chinese and I'm like "Mom, mom, mommyyyy....." That happened multiple times at dinner too and I was expected to reply?

Dinner was ohhmyyygoosshh, so yummy. I think I ate the most out of the entire group. Met up with my father's side and had steamboat. Did I mention it was so good? Overall, good get together with my aunts and uncles and cousins. :)

--
Well that's about it. Gonna finalize my packing, let's hope it doesn't exceed 50lbs each, because it would be really hard to decide what not to bring. :\ I mean, I already had to part with my teddybears, and am really tempted to bring one of them... by holding it in my arms as I circle the world. HAHAHAHA.

Too Good to be True

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 06:38:00 +0000

Yesterday's Women World Cup Quarterfinal match between USA and Brazil proved to be the most interesting, passionate, emotional, exciting, dramatic, breathtaking (the list could go on) match I have ever witnessed. And I've watched a million soccer matches. As Hope Solo put it, "Up and down, up and down. Emotional. I didn’t know if we were going to pull it out at the end." It had everything a soccer match could have, to say the least. Here's a list of what this match contained.. and my reactions:

(First things first, we're talking about Number One Ranked Team USA playing Number Three Ranked Team Brazil who also has five consecutive times FIFA Player of the Year Marta on their side.)

Early Goal - 2nd Minute
It is every team's dream to start off a match with an early goal. USA did precisely that - in the 2nd minute. It was so early that I even missed it, only arriving at my "mamak" store during the 4th minute of action.

Own Goal - 2nd Minute
Same goal, just a little twist to it: Brazilian defender Daiane scored the first goal for the USA after a brilliant cross by Shannon Boxx and a scramble in the box with her foot just pushing the ball over the line.

My reaction: OMG, I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THE FIRST GOAL.

Red Card - 66th Minute
Yellow cards are a different story. But a straight red card, now that's a turn of events. Marta with her skill and speed is brought down in the box by center defender Rachel Beuhler. Penalty given.

Penalty Saved - 67th Minute
Brizillian player Cristiane steps up to take the penalty, but it's saved by Solo!!

My reaction: Okay so yes, I am boiling here because of the red card that was issued, but SOLO JUST SAVED THE PENALTY KICK. USA are still leading 1-0!

Penalty Retaken - 68th Minute
Apparently Hope Solo was off her line, and the referee signals for a retake. Solo argues (I would too, if I were her!) and is issued a yellow card. Penalty is retaken by Marta, who converts it. USA 1 - Brazil 1.

My reaction: By now I'm just going crazy. I mean, what is up with the referee?! I order a hot drink to calm myself down.

Extra Time
The game goes into extra time with the score tied at 1-1.

Controversial Goal - 94th Minute
In the second minute of extra time, Marta took a pass from Maurine, who was apparently offside, to convert a beautiful left-footed flick that bounced on the turf and off the right post before settling behind Solo to give Brazil a 2-1 advantage.

Time Wasted - 117th Minute
Brazilian player Erika falls after a corner kick and apparently cramps up. Stretcher is brought on and she is taken off the field. She suddenly gets off the stretcher like nothing is wrong and runs back onto the field. Referee shows her a yellow card for clearly wasting time.

My reaction: Okay so there's a big difference being clearly injured and wasting time, and she's clearly crossed the line. I mean seriously, play fair. By now, with only 3 minutes + of extra time remaining, I'm like hyperventilating. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe ouuutttt.

AND WAMBACH SCORES THE EQUALIZER! - 122nd Minute
You cannot write a script like this. Extra time has gone into injury time of three minutes. With only a minute remaining, Abby scores the latest goal in Women's World Cup history!! To put it in Ian Darke's commentary, "Rapinoe gets the cross in... it's towards Wambach... OOOOOHH CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!! Abby Wamback has saved the USA's life in this tournament!"

My reaction: I should have recorded this. I was just making a fool out of myself. The whole mamak store were probably staring at me, for all I cared. I said to my dad, "I knew they were going to score! I just knew it inside of me, but I was too scared to believe it. This is just too good to be true."

Penalty Shoot Out
You can imagine how happy the US are at this stage. Who cares if it's penalties and we haven't secured a W yet, at least we have a chance now! Brazil are probably still in shock that they let in that late goal.

... and Hope Solo is the USA's solo hope.

Shannon Boxx (USA) - GOAL
Cristiane (Brazil) - GOAL

Carli Lloyd (USA) - GOAL
Marta (Brazil) - GOAL

Abby Wambach (USA) - GOAL

Daiane (Brazil) - SAVED!

My reaction: YESSSSS! I love youu, Hope.

Megan Rapinoe (USA) - GOAL
Francielle (Brazil) - GOAL

My reaction: *pushes chair back and gets ready to jump up*

Ali Krieger (USA) - GOOAAALLLLLL!!

@mPinoe - I don't think the #wwc could have asked for a more exciting, edge of your seat, piss in your pants kind of football (than) these QF's! #beautifulgame

U.S. vs Brazil: This one should have left you cheering - Let's say you're one of those who wouldn't jump on soccer's bandwagon with a bazooka to your head. This one still should have moved you. Read More

And that, is the end of an amazing match. You can guess my reaction - I jumped up, screamed, and then after standing up for a while like a sore thumb in the middle of a mamak store (that obviously didn't share my enthusiasm, being 2:30am in the morning by then.), I sat back down and watched the players celebrate. :)

Credit to USA for fighting till the end and for playing brilliantly for an hour plus with only 10 women. Loved the team spirit and unity, the persistence, and the faith. Abby Wambach and Hope Solo are definitely the women of the match. Now, for the semifinals against France. This is your cup, USA. Go get 'em!

P/s. I am convinced that whoever criticizes the women's game of soccer should have watched this game, for it would have adjusted your mindset completely. Even my dad admitted it beat many a man's game in terms of excitement, passion, and drama. And he is one critic of women soccer hard to please.

July Update #1

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 08:14:00 +0000

Hello to my readers! It's been a while since I've actually written what's been going on in my life so you're much due for a proper update. First things first, the new blogger in draft is really... odd? I'm staring at this strange screen that looks completely different. But it has a pretty nice, with a sort of simple, orderly, sophisticated look.

Speaking of looks, my website will be going through a major change sometime at the end of the month or early next month. ~~Once I get my MacBook, arrive in Maine, and have my sister around to help.~~ I'll be using Joomla CMS instead, so lookout for something involving lots of pictures and colors.

Anyhow, it's a little less than three weeks before I fly to Maine. I recently purchased my suitcases, and have been packing ever since, or more like, my mother has been packing ever since.

So I've been meeting up with some people, spending some quality time before I leave. :) Had lunch with Naomi and went handbag shopping, which was pretty amusing because I can't speak Malay and Naomi isn't the type that goes shopping for bags. (Btw, all the best in Brunei!) Also went out for lunch with Ms. Cath and Roberts as well as suitcase shopping. Dropped by at ALC to visit Uncle Kevin and all the rest. Had dinner at Ry's house last night. :)

Lastly, tomorrow is a very special day for a lot of people. Shoutout to two of my very amazing friends who all are celebrating their birthday tomorrow: Pom and Bee!

Pom, you are the sweetest girl alive. I will never forget your endless stories, matchmaking skills, random hyper moments, planning the Christmas party, moving school moments I've had with you. Thank you for accompanying me at awkward moments, for listening, and making me laugh. ♥

And to my Bee, I'm so sorry I couldn't celebrate your birthday with you, but I trust you had a good time. Thank you for never failing to be a pain in the butt, for being that someone I could torture when I... needed to torture someone, for trying hard, for putting up with me, and for just being you. I will never forget the time when we had a major argument concerning your stupid computer charger and how Chanelle had to put a boundary of highlights to separate us. Gosh, I'm gonna miss youuu. ♥

Till later. Hopefully I get a chance to meet up with y'all Malaysian before I leave.

All Hail the Juggler

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 06:45:00 +0000

This is just beyond, cool. I am in total awe of Tobin Heath, current USWNT player, UNC alumni, winner of NCAA championship and Olympics 2008, Christian, and only 23 years old. Definitely one of the coolest people existing. :)

Avillion Admiral Cove

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 10:40:00 +0000

My family and I headed to PD for our annual family vacation. We stayed at a serene hotel/resort known as Avillion Admiral Cove. It was breathtakingly beautiful, but the only downfall was there was no sand. No sand, when you're literally on the ocean. No wonder it's called a cove, but I do love sand.

Basically, all I did was sleep, eat, swim, watch TV, and all that over again. Just a side note: never stay up to 2am because you want to watch The Proposal when you can barely keep your eyes open, have a pounding headache, and have bloodshot eyes. Seriously, I looked that bad.

Moving on, it's back to business with less than a month to go before the big transition in my life. I've thrown or given away so much of my stuff, but it actually gives you a strange sense of accomplishment that you aren't attached to your material stuff. July is going to be one heck of a month, but I'm so excited for every moment. Whether it be spending a few more precious moments with my beloveds over here in Malaysia or packing and flying to land of the free and brave, I intend to enjoy every second. :)

Gold Cup, U-17 WC, WWC

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 06:54:00 +0000

So with the European season for football (as they call it) over, you might think I have a lack of games to watch and entertain myself with, but that was not the case. The last couple of weeks and the weeks to come, there's been so many important international cups and tournaments, I am happy. :)

Firstly, the Gold Cup which just ended last Sunday. After a difficult set of games in the group play, USA pulled through - as they always do - beat Jamaica in the quarterfinals, Panama in the semifinals, and reached the final against the biggest rivalries of all time: Mexico. I actually had to miss the final, but am pretty darn glad I did miss it, because it would have broken my heart into pieces. Just watching the highlights that lasted less that 10 minutes was bad enough. After taking a 2-0 lead in the 23rd minute by great goals from Bradley and Donovan, the US fell behind to a very much composed Mexican team. Final score, 2-4 to Mexico. My heart goes out to Lichaj, who was an inch away from saving the last goal, and Bradley, who had the perfect chance to score. If-only's once again, but the ball is round, and the game is over. Great effort from the guys though and I will forever be proud of my team. :)

Secondly, the U-17 World Cup which, sorry to say, I haven't been following very faithfully. The group stage is over and US have proceeded to the next round after a victory over Czech Republic, a lost to Uzbekistan (YES, I KNOW, UZBEKISTAN OMG.), and a tie against New Zealand. That left them tied at second place with New Zealand and lots were drawn to determine who would get second or third. They got second so they are now moving on to the knockout stage.

And finally, but definitely not last, and my biggest chance at USA actually winning something, the Woman's World Cup. It just kicked off yesterday, watched the first match between France and Nigeria, and really excited to watch the first match the USA play on Tuesday night against Korea PRK. I'm already planning that the US will reach the final. :) Just as a side-note: they've won the World Cup two times out of the five times it's been held and, according to FIFA, are ranked as number 1 in the world.

Other than those listed above, I still have the MLS and WPS to keep me occupied. Currently, I'm really impressed by Mike Magee and his heroic period in front of the goal as part-time debut goalkeeper for the Galaxy. Without a doubt, man of the match. :) Speaking of the Galaxy, David Beckham hasn't been playing recently because he's been having back spasms. That guy needs to retire.

In God's Supply Box

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 07:54:00 +0000

So, the packing has begun and so far, so good. I've been digging up so many memories, and not wanting to let go off that torn piece of paper or faded friendship bracelet that holds a precious memory. But as the saying goes, "Memories Last Forever" without person or possession to help you remember it.

Anyhow, I stumbled upon a paper where I had written a little poem. It brought a smile to my face and I'm actually pretty impressed with my effort. I'm guessing I was maybe 13 at the time of writing it. Thought I'll share it with you guys:

In God's Supply Box..
Dear Child, when you can't seem to see what is ahead,
I have a new pair of glasses for you to put on.
When you make a mistake, there's always an eraser with me that you can borrow,
or white out if the scar is too big.
Don't worry if someone has hurt you,
because I've got a full box of bandages at different sizes and shapes and the best detol ever, called love.
When you're scared, you can crawl under my bed, it's dust free.
If you happen to need any help, you can dial 333 and I'll pick up.
It's almost like 911 but you don't have to answer questions, you get to ask them.
Secrets are always secrets, and if you find you can't trust anybody with them,
you can trust me, I promise you that.
This is what I give you, my child.
It's your choice to believe, to trust.
I don't want to be an abnormal person to you, I want to be real.
So never forget this, my child.
I have glasses, erasers, bandages, and detol waiting for you.
My phone number is really easy to memorize and my ear is always listening.
Now it's your turn to come.

Have a blessed week! :)

greetings, random thoughts.

noreply@blogger.com (hazel) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 11:13:00 +0000

I've formed the conclusion that the only consequences of having too much time at home with no school work to do are the following: number one, you get lazy and fail to accomplish the little (but big amounts of) things you need to do, and number two, you think too much.

The later is more like the consequence I personally face. Because, being me, I can't be idle for too long without feeling guilty. But, thinking?! I mean, you can do that while you're going through your stuff, while you're absently surfing the net, while you're sewing or doing art projects, while you're cleaning the house, while you're at work watching children do their tuition compositions... (and yes, I did all that.) Anyway, here goes to my random accumulated thoughts.

While substituting for a tuition teacher, I was contemplating on how people can so easily indirectly influence you by subtle ways. It's scary to see how transparent someone's values are, and how easily s/he can push them upon others. It's amazing how much you can read about one's character by just the way s/he carries herself/himself, or the way s/he talks, behaves, and interacts.

While heading home, I realized how easily one compromises his/her values just to "keep the peace". Someone swears, and you let it pass even if it's completely against your values to swear. Someone shares his/her belief and you pleasantly ignore it instead of speaking up and telling him/her you believe contrary. They say ignorance is bliss, but it's more like the best way to easily escape doing the right thing. And many times, we resort to it.

While watching a soccer game, my brain randomly wandered to the difference between dreams and plans. Often we make dreams our plans, which is ridiculous. Because while it's okay to dream, planning is up to the Lord. In reference to this point, I'll refer back to an earlier post, which can be read here.

While slowing narrowing down my list of things to do, it dawned on me how very fast time is passing. Before the blink of an eye, I'll be packing, leaving for Maine, spending some quality time with all my childhood friends, and then orientation down in Boone, North Carolina before the first day of class. :) Today marks precisely 44 days before I leave. A simple reminder to treasure every second I have left with my beloved family and friends on this side of the world.

While composing this blog post, my mind is swarming with a mixture of jumbled thoughts, questions, and observations. Maybe I should be rediscovering who I truly am, define that strong set of values I believe I possess, and once again find my identity in God's sight. And maybe, after all, thinking isn't much of a consequence.